DON'T USE THAT TONE WITH ME!

Random wtf's that made me smile in recent days of disastrous workshit and doomed ideas.

forwarded by Pokes.

also from Pokes.

from the Housebunneigh.

XD

Also.

The Merdeka promo i rambled about here is dunzo and completed.

Yeah its on air now and you can see my very unfinished unpolished directorial shots all over national TV.

Great la.

Just great.

And just in case you dont watch tv here are the shots.
(see the youtube one better. here got alot kena cut off)

ho yeah.

SATISFACTION GUARANTEED

Attended the launching of tonton.com.my @ Sunway Pyramid convention centre the other day and realised that people at the event were exchanging hidden meaning winks everytime my name came up during the introductory stages of our mingling sessions.

Everytime significantly scandalous words like "satisfaction" or "jaemy" came up, u can see the brows slant as the unsaid elephant-in-the-room glances shift from me to the colleague standing next to me for affirmation of some punchline that i wasn't in on. This carried on until someone bursted the bubble of the day. but even then i was still blur and enjoying the privileges of being the mayor of cluelessville.

Then i went back to office today and saw this.

...and the whole world made sense.

i have finafrigginly obtained the fame i have longed for since longtime longing.

and u know wat the experts say la - no publicity is bad publicity.

I embrace with open arms.

Come to meh babeh.

thanks la Swen.

COLLAGE OF BOOMZ

i really really likey the new way facebook layouts their photos now.

They arranged everything in 1 long page compared to what they used to do previously where you need to click 1 page after another after another until you damn sien and give up all together browsing cuz it was taking too long to load. (somemore if you're browsing for certain pics you take dunno how many umpteen years before you actually find it)

They made the browsing images larger, distanced narrower and cropped much neater now.

Ah.

Now when i click on photo albums i dun mind waiting for the photos to load so i can stare at the neatly arranged collage of pics in full window view.

Like you could just capture scrn and printout and it would be an awesome poster on your uninspiringly bare room wall that you never had the motivation to jazz up due to whogivesafrak.

..or maybe its just cuz my photo skills are just dropdead kickassly topnotch that they cant help but look so damn good when placed together correctly.

sweet.

(actually half of the pics above are from housebunneigh's cam.
taken by her. arranged by facebook. placed here by me. )

heh.

THE RUNTHROUGH REVIEWS

Movies caught by lil ol' me lately.

SHE'S OUT OF MY LEAGUE

Toilet/shave jokes were biggest LOL parts of the film.
cant say it was anything more than that.
Its a pity cuz there could've been some sort of a "MeanGirls" effect going on here.

MeanGirls effect - brainless bimbo/himbo humour with pinch of depth applicable to reality. and makes you like it. and watch it. repeatedly.

2.5/5 gunks of gore

ECLIPSE

Strictly for the ignorant lovesicks.
Yes i am a cynic. kinda.
or maybe i just don't get the cheesy "everything-i-do-is-for-u" liners.
Victoria died so uselessly quick.
Cannot tahan the diamond shattering when the Vamps die.

2.5/5 Ploughs of Blood.

COUPLES RETREAT

Its weird how i only found the sex position jokes during the yoga scene funny.
Everything else was pretty yawnsome.
yes. Perv i am.

2/5 flanks of freaks.

DESPICABLE ME

The only thing that amused me in this movie were the yellow Digimen minions.
They were the sole selling point of this film and without em high pitch cutesies running around throwing us all kinds of chaos, i would've found this movie boring.

Teaser really sucked. Thank goodness there was more to it than that fat kid falling into the pyramid balloon.

3/5 mixes of minions

INCEPTION

Ah. THE film on everyone's lips now.
The topic of everyone's movie conversation.
The icebreaking opener for film discussions.

Expectations pretty much killed this for me.
Yup.
The word around the street got to me and i had subconsciously/accidentally placed this movie skyhigh on my expectations list and of course when you expect it to be good - couldnt help it - it always ends up bad. Not BAD bad. Just mediocrely bad.

Dun get me wrong. I think it's an awesome film with a stellar cast and a kickass concept really. but i walked out of the cinema feeling......... expected. Like nothing surprising happened. Nothing that made me clinch my fist and demand more. Blame my eavesdropping curiosity and penchant to follow mass audience movie blabbers.

Loved the dream timezone slowmo bits at the end.
Oh well.

I give it 4/5 Layers of Dreams.

THE SORCERER'S APPRENTICE

Heard some bad reviews. Watched it. Ended up liking this movie.
So ya see. Expectations can make or break a movie experience.
I think i should start doing what thebrother does by steering clear of any known media coverage of movies i wanna watch from now on. Blocks out the foreign influences.

Was thoroughly impressed by the CGI!
Was immensely disappointed that cina contactlensed dragonwizard clawdude had so damn little screen time!

3.5/5 abookits and hodukens

SALT

Enjoyable. Fast paced. Believable acting. Mindlessjoyride. Poutedlips.
Relevantly good twist at the end.

What's not to like?

The sequel will be called Sugar.

or Pepper.

or Spice.

or Spicegirl.

3.5/5 Russian accents


There u go.
Woots.

Also, just finished season 2 of DAMAGES.

Have to say that it falters in comparison to the 1st season.
Slightly less kanchiong.

Still good.

But less of that edge-of-your-seat goodness.

*TOOOOOT* (insert vulgar word worthy of expressing extreme envy and over excitement)

2 Colleagues strutted into office after the lunch break today and rubbed THIS in my face.

yup.

Star.

Bloody.

Craft

TWO.

Wings of Liberty original pack.

ARGH.
I ALSO WANNA PLAY!!!!!!

WEEKEND BLUNDER BANTER DIARRHEA

OK.

So how much can happen to u on a plan-less work-less weekend where all u want to do is sit at home and grow fungus between your soles and the tiles underneath ur pc chair?

lets see...

You can... get sickly contaminated by chicken rice da-baued from a regularly visited restaurant and end up moaning and groaning your friday night away in so much cold-sweat agony that you force yourself up at 4am and drag ur numb feet to the 7-11 opposite your apartment for Panadol because you 1) realise u can no longer tolerate the pain and.. 2) realise you don't have any Panadol with you.

You can... miss a much anticipated Saturday night friendgang gathering because of darn chicken rice contamination and be deprived of much needed laughter, joy and ego-kutuking jokes and appear NOT to appear in any of the facebook photos uploaded the very next day, once again because you were too busy containing the crap that somehow kept leaking from the side of your butt cheeks everytime you fart.

thanks for keeping me in your thoughts guys.
really feelin the luv. thanksalot.

You can... cook yourself the most canggihfied breakfast and realise it was all for waste when your tummy starts groaning halfway in. the bad kinda groan. the type of groan that you heed or else.

You can... cause the potential death of an innocent human being who was only doing his job because you were too damn lazy to call for delivery from another place of eateries (see la somehow OldTown is the ONLY place you can order food from that guarantees you FAST delivery and ZERO fatality.) Ya. Your McD delivery dinner was involved in a tragic road accident and you were the cause of it. Probably collided with some other nonsensical driver who wasnt as hungry as you were at time of impact.

Thankfully. 2nd batch of delivery edibles arrived safe and sound and my god it was heavenly.

Never tasted Bubur Ayam so good before.

oh and if ur wondering if 1st batch dinner Delivery guy survived.

He did.
i asked the new delivery guy when food came to my tummy's rescue.

anyway.

GOOD Bubur Ayam!

mmm. *pats head and rubs tummy*

ADVERTISING EATS INTO OUR EVERYDAY CONVERSATIONS

so funny la these people.

XD

JUST SHOOT ME

Co-directed a shoot yesterday.
T'was a Merdeka promo campaign that required a hellota props, shitload of on-the-spot improv and precise timing for movements.

fatiguely tiring.

Was supposed to end by 6pm.

Ended at bladi 11.

Argh.

All i can say is, you can never have too much planning for shoots.

I have to admit that i did not have the proper planning for this one due to the fact that shit is shat everywhere and everyone steps on them once in awhile and groans in agony and curses the world when it happens and there's nuthin' yo can do 'boutit really but go home and cry to mummy.

Now i understand how some movies are re-written and re-done and re-written again and again before they get that proper kickstart overdrive.

I was crackin my head trying to piece the 874237432840834 jigsaw puzzle together for weeks before finally settling with something close to my liking.

And even that i wasnt completely satisfied.

Budget wise, bosses were hammering 1 single message into our heads during meetings:

Kiamsapz.

I was also not prepared for the unforeseen circumstances that befell us when a whole memory card's raw footages were tragically deleted by someone from the crew. We were forced to re-shoot a handful of scenes because of this mishap. Bummerz.

talents getting cozy under the sheets.

To add salt, there was another separate crew that was scheduled to built a new set for another shoot at the very same location that same night immediately after our shoot (which was scheduled to end at 6) and we had tonnes more to cover.

therefore, you get yourself the perfect Kodak moment of chaos:

- improper planning.
- cheap-ass budget.
- killertight schedule

- lackness of manpower.

- amateur experience.
- other crews standing around cock eye-ing us with crossed arms impatiently tapping frustfeet on floor for us to wrap up so they can proceed with THEIR set up

picture it yet?

the frantic faces,
the tension in the air,
the zombified crew.

the pullinghair me.

CAN PICTURE OR NOT!??!?!

cheering on our producer to clean faster.
Que you-missed-a-spot joke.

Oh well.
Live and learn.

Hopefully after the cleaning up in post, things will look up.
Keeping fingers crossed.

KAI JEE BYE

We waved a tear-jerk heart-felt goodbye to our dear brownhairedbrother 2 weeks ago.
By 'tear-jerk' i meant joy.
By 'heart-feal't i meant clapping and cheering and celebrating overload on the inside.

Ah.

With the blink of a darkcircled eye, it has been a year since we welcomed the whiteboi into our humble luvhouse of endless nags, overwhelming housechores and 0-tolerance towards profanities.

We sighed in absolute grief and mourned in mucus-filled nostrils as we sent him packing back to the sausage cave from which he crawled from after a-year-long stint of living in Msia as an exchange student.

These here are pics of 钟凯谦's last supper with us before his dropoff at KLIA.
By '钟凯谦' i meant Kai.
By 'us' i meant my gracious presence.
By 'supper' i meant dinner.
and by 'KLIA' i meant freedom from sudden unreasonable slaps on head by annoying foreign child of European origin.

hapi family of fish, vege, pork, shiutcha and matriarch's iron fist scoop.

(left) fire in the hole. (right) byebye chinese food

Dday arrived on a Friday night flight and whiteboi took his time to bid his necessary farewells and goodbyes and solongs for the last time before stepping out. Never to return.

By 'Dday' i meant the day we were rid of his senselessly childish "Bangcock" jokes of obscenity and violence.
By 'took his time' i meant he was done in less than a minute cuz he couldnt wait to get back to his less humid less jammed less poor country.
By 'never to return' i meant he's probably gonna visit again soon. with his whole family next time. i sked.

nothing says "goodbye i-luv-u" more sincerely than the good ol groin smellin'.




point and wave.

@ KLIA with the arrival of the ChanWa Kai-tourage.



"Pinky-swear that you'll never come back?"

hapi family. Hi5 from the sis and peaceout from Kai mum no.2.
(the Dad is missing in this photo. He was too sad to join us.
His aging heart can't handle the pain of losing another son.

(he lost this son here to the world already.

ya.

i am lost to the worldly sins of unmentionables.

never to return again.))

Executing grouply manhugs on the Kai-tourage

So. let it be known that from this day forth there will no longer be an angmo residing at the Seremban residence.

No more slanderous racist remarks.
No more impulsive physical abuse on my face, head, back and stomach.
No more wannabe shout-out-loud canto bad words picked up from cina classmates that eventually lead to long awkward lectures from the family matriarch.
No more "I'm white and even I'M tanner than you!" comparisons.

Ah.
We will miss him.
Partially.

I think.

JUST BECAUSE

OK so things have been crazy lately.

Campaigns to copulate.

ideas to generate.

Promos to regurgitate.

Superiors to annihilate

All part of the big plan really.

not an easy one.

But it's a plan.

watchout all ye mothafehkers.

Also worthy of watching out - ME going on and on in your face about the new things on my torrentdownload/watch-after-work list.

Beware my unending rant of exaggerated drama plots, lame ass lines and random scene impersonations.

Because i am currently high on...

because the new season is so damn awesome can die.



because i just finished season 1 and am bloody hooked on it.
friggin addictive.
season 2 on the way.




because the housebunneigh had been bugging me to watch it for AGES
...and i kept giving her the cold shoulder.

...and also because i went through 3 episodes and friggin laughed my head off.

and also because it is now my current fave comedy.
of the moment.
as of now.



Sorry Big Bang Theory!

LI ANN DOES THE WALK

Was at St Francis Xavier's church the other day to witness colleague Li Ann berid of her bachelorettehood in holy matrimony to Benji.

Was a tiring day indeed because a certain restaurant had misinformed us of a certain item that was supposedly purchasable as a gift and when we got there *cough* Tenji *cough* we were told to get lost.

A pretty demoralizing way to start the day if i do say so myself.

Ended up rush-scouting/purchasing another prezie and then realising that it was not obtainable that day, so we scribbled love letters and threw it into a nice packet and wrapped it up with all the TLC we could conjoure up for the day and presented it to the blushing couple as a face-saving gift. Phew.

black is back.

It was a simple wedding. Simple and nice.
Vows exchanged in the church.
Hi-tea in the garden.
Perfect the way it was.
but humid and sweated loads.
Extra flavouring to the food right.

yum.

(left) Uncle Dave downing his juice.
(right) Popo picks up french dude on the table.



perky pink and the black widow.
(Swen's cat died so she decided to honour her pussy by drenching herself in the colour of her pubes)

couple and perkypinky.



us wishing them all the best

Also.

I am officially jamdicted.

did this for July's jamlist.

KaPow!