ABOUT A CAR

I am currently facing an annoying pinch of dilemma whilst attempting to finish my much overdue 2012 New Year resolutions. (If its still considered one.)

Let's face it.
i need a car.

Despite how everyone tells me that having a transport device to call my own is, in fact, a liability and a burden rather than something that brings you untung in life, i think most people just dont understand the emotionally traumatising part of NOT having one.

Here's why:

1 - Not having a car usually means Troubling your friends.
People who know me on a bff basis know that i really really cant stand mafaning people. And in this case, mafaning friends for transport. (Although the term "what are friends for" comes to mind.) It is a constant blow to my fragile incompetent ego every time i need to open my mouth and put friends (or WORSE - new acquaintances) in a position where they are obligated to say yes. (lets face it, it IS an obligation when someone asks u for transport. A rejection to this only results in awkwardness. Hence, i am eternally grateful to friends who have braised harsh KL road conditions to allow me the joy of sharing a seat in their mobile motors. Arigato muchos gracias. )

2 - Not having a car robes you of Freewill ...
.. when u need to leave events or social gatherings (talk like i'm some damn happening jock liddat rite?) U are forced to take into consideration your kind hearted buddy who so generosity made that extra U turn on the jam-packed KL roads just to pick u up. Which he/she will be doing again later when sending u home.
Oh god who r u to order someone off their happytime to chauffeur u home.Which higher entity bestowed upon u this power to command another human's time ur own.Who died and made u the boss of "imdoneletsleaveNOW". No. U sit and u wait till ur good friend offers to go home. Then u go. That's what u do, that's how it is. End of point.

3 - Not having a car makes you lose the Game
Lets face it. how do u go up to a potential date, ask that person out and then close by saying "so u come pick me up at 8 k? cuz i dont drive." Epic. Fail. Unless ur a girl la. Then diff story. Heh.

4 - Not having a car makes you a Direction Retard.
I dont know if i was born with this defect or this inability to recognise roads, but my inner motivator tells me it is this unownership of a vehicle that deems me so. i'm probably too stressed out being in a car and making conversation with someone in a car that i cant focus on landmarks and directions happening outside. Multitasker i am not. I guess.

5 - Not having a car destroys Creativity
How r u gonna carry ur huge ass shooting equipment and large lighting and life-size props, at the spur of the moment, to an awesome far away location when inspiration suddenly hits and u just need to get that idea out in the flesh? Groan-worthy indeed. Also, passion is 1 thing. Cab fare is another.

So in case you havent noticed, i am considering if getting a car should be in my 2012 to-accomplish list.
Yes.
If i do get a car it will be an accomplishment in my life.
One that will make me happy as an independent human being.
One that will seal myself in the "professional" adult phase of life.
Oh man. i'm turning 27 soon and i dont have a car. FML.


On a different perspective... having a car just leeches the life out of u in so many other ways.
Parking.
Jams.
Downpayments.
Insurance.
Monthly instalments.
Accidents.
Death.
Jams.
Service charges.
Traffic summons.
Kopi-O money.
Changing tyres.
What colour your car should be.
Cleaning.
Actually DRIVING.
Burning alive when u crash and u cant get out of the wreckage.
Jams.
Accidents.
Death.
Argh.

I'm staying home and embracing antisocialism. Settled.
2012 Resolutions. NOT settled.

JAMMING UNCLES

I like jams.

They go well with bread, butter, toast, angst, pent up workstress and a desperate need to bang something.

They also make uncles look a whole lot younger and yauyeng-er.



And they train up your multitasking skills.
(left) uncle play drums and sing at the same time. Dun playplay.

As usual, i am nowhere to be seen because i am the camera holder.
Camera holders arenotqualified / dontdeserve / looktoofugly to be in photos.

The other day i had a conversation with a friend that went something along the lines of:

friend: so who u going jamming with tonight?
me: oh with this group of old uncles la.
friend: oh how old?
me: erm... 30's.
friend: tats not very old. you're already 25.
me: ...............(long pending pause)....................shit. you're right.

And as simple and as instant as that, it dawned upon me...
no wait... more of a lightning jolt than a briskful dawn...
like a meteor had crashed on me and had suddenly shook the very foundation of my puny existence to the core... it suddenly hit me that i will be joining the golden ranks of the "uncle" category very soon.

Argh.

Cold sweat drips down my forehead amidst my realization that age is catching up with me.
I can only shrug and curse.

The OTHER other day i took a free bone endurance test in 1u organised by Anlene.
And just by chance take a guess what the end results were?
I was placed in the "risky" zone.
Yea.
The yellow zone next to the red zone where octogenarians and osteoporosis proners lurk.
The section reserved mainly for citizens of a rather more senior standing in society.
So there you have it. I'm officially a fragile-boned human. A slight touch and you could dislocate my wimpy shoulder. A soft push and you could shatter my rib cage. A gentle tug and you could snap my neck instantly.
That's what the results say. I dunno.
I run i walk i sweat i move and stay mobile alot. I dont get it.
The ignorant way of thinking would be that I was a victim of a tired examiner dozzingoff on duty during the roadshow or maybe a malfunction of machinery at the presence of my overzealous nerves during the test. Either way, i am not completely convinced that my abled body is that unable.
I'm not!

Aiyo. You see la.
I wanted to write about my cool new uncle band but i ended up feeling depressed about my age and deteriorating body.

How uncle of me.

CONCERNS

The new year usherings are officially over.
the Bday celebrations are indefinitely done.
Any previously procrastinated plans kept on-hold to kick start any sort of movement in my life should begin its refreshment course now.

i do not deny that past experiences of dabbling with the hallows of life and work have perpetually dampen my spirits and seriously jaded my perspectives on life. As a result i do consider myself somewhat of a cynic now.

Yeah. 25 years alive has turned me into 1 of those ciggy-smokin-singlet uncles who are functionally unable to slur out words that make you want to sail the 7 seas on impulse or look for gold at the end of the rainbow on a sunny saturday evening (after rain of course. im not stupid. i know tat rainbows appear after rain.)

.. not unless you live in a pelangi.
here, rainbows appear out of the corner.

I hate sun. So I'd tell you to stay home instead and lock ur doors, sleep or whip out a book - IF you can stay awake after 2 pages.

My work ethics and personal boundaries on people-to-people relationships are beginning to compromise my better self. Once again letting my guard down at the working environment is beginning to cost me. I feel sad and effected whenever i disagree heavily on the opinion of others. I feel like crap after i deliver straight forward work critics and watch their facial expressions dissolve from friend to foe in an instant.

Believe me. It eats me up inside.
But obviously my arrogantly anal need to strive for better recognition (if friggin possible) tells me not to give face. not to back down. not to NOT fight back when i know something needs to be fought. Or rather. Its my inability to draw that fine line between professionalism and personal relations that compells me to feel like shit.

Aih.

ANYWAY.

Danzeus, the other housemate, got me a small cake all tucked away in the micro-fridge and was planning on presenting it to me ala song style on his white horse guitar but takjadi cuz the housebunneigh potonged his stim after we came back from our earlier makan session @ WIP.

Thanks Danz.

i had it for breakfast the next day and really liked it.
my solo in-room celebration for myself on my bday morning.

Sssweet.

I wanna go on a holiday.
Someone sponsor me please.

PANIC ATTACK No.487789312349

Another brief cold-sweat /heart-stop moment last night when the lifepartner/roomie aka pc decided to pull a short circuit by flushing itself into the literal darkside i have been afraid of since it started showing blackout symptoms afew months ago.

Was porning surfing when sudden uninvited shutdown jolted me into immediate state of panic. i was literally pulling hair yanking eyes and clawing face followed by fist up in the air cursing the name of my AMD at 2am when it happened.

flicked on / off for the twelve dozenth time before throwing hands up and waving the white flag for the night. forced my agitated state to embrace the 5 hour hibernation before trying another dozen the next day.

Yanked open cpu. Pulled afew wires out of wires of random wires and rebooted again for the last time before trying out detaching the dvd writer from contact. figured it was worth a shot since it used to work on the ex-flame (also AMD).

Voila.

Miracle worker i am.

Windows commenced.
Sigh of relief breathed.
Life is worth living again.

OH. and btw.

Happy Wrinkly 25th, Swen.

i work with this one.


Happy OldManing, Dannyzeus.

i live with this one.

Februarians.
special special people indeed.

Work It Baby

Aih.
So much work can die.

Supposed to direct One In A Million Top 12 contestants in a shoot tmrw but at this instant, we don't even know WHO we'll actually be shooting..... results not out yet. -_-
i hate on-the-spot shoots la. We dun get to plan beforehand.
Damn tension.
Newbie like me (yes i still consider myself fresh and easily corruptable cuz i still can't direct nicely) should be given the privilege to plan my board frame by frame and practice my communication skills in front of a mirror before getting thrown into the fire liddat.

Ok fine. So i direct Newbies each month.
That one plan until so nicely already of course no problem la.

Mardeh.

I cannot deny though, I'm actually pretty friggin excited now.
I'll be working with a bunch of people whom i've only observed from afar from last time.
Will be experiencing communication challenges tmrw cause apparently the linguafranca of production shoots is friggin-knnccb-canto. -_-

I've been labled a banana in the office btw.

Doesnt matter if you can speak mandarin.
Doesn't matter if you attended Sekolah Kebangsaan Cina.
Doesnt matter if you joined jiang gu shi (storytelling) and hui chun (calligraphy) competitions and that 90% of your school friends are pure chineses.

Nope.

As long as you sit at a table full of canto-speakers and you're the only one who can't get the LOL jokes, you are ze infamous Banana of ze group.

Sweet.

I rearranged my room yesterday.
Just got bored and felt like releasing some pent up stress.
So i shove, move, tilt, bend, throw.
SY says the room feels bigger now.
Still alot of work to do though.
Gonna get more 20 ringgit shelves when i am done with the shit i'm going through now.

The other day my friend told me that another friend just left her production job and will be going to UK to pluck apples for a living.

Like, walau.
Abit the drastic right?

But i cant help but feel envious of people who have the guts to leave everything behind and pursue a life free of idiotic clients, moody bosses and fake smiles.

I jealous la.
Argh.
I have good thing going here.
Focus focus.
OK need to wake up at 6:30am tmrw.
Sleep.

Ciaos.