Sunday, February 28, 2010

CONCERNS

The new year usherings are officially over.
the Bday celebrations are indefinitely done.
Any previously procrastinated plans kept on-hold to kick start any sort of movement in my life should begin its refreshment course now.

i do not deny that past experiences of dabbling with the hallows of life and work have perpetually dampen my spirits and seriously jaded my perspectives on life. As a result i do consider myself somewhat of a cynic now.

Yeah. 25 years alive has turned me into 1 of those ciggy-smokin-singlet uncles who are functionally unable to slur out words that make you want to sail the 7 seas on impulse or look for gold at the end of the rainbow on a sunny saturday evening (after rain of course. im not stupid. i know tat rainbows appear after rain.)



.. not unless you live in a pelangi.
here, rainbows appear out of the corner.

I hate sun. So I'd tell you to stay home instead and lock ur doors, sleep or whip out a book - IF you can stay awake after 2 pages.

My work ethics and personal boundaries on people-to-people relationships are beginning to compromise my better self. Once again letting my guard down at the working environment is beginning to cost me. I feel sad and effected whenever i disagree heavily on the opinion of others. I feel like crap after i deliver straight forward work critics and watch their facial expressions dissolve from friend to foe in an instant.

Believe me. It eats me up inside.
But obviously my arrogantly anal need to strive for better recognition (if friggin possible) tells me not to give face. not to back down. not to NOT fight back when i know something needs to be fought. Or rather. Its my inability to draw that fine line between professionalism and personal relations that compells me to feel like shit.

Aih.

ANYWAY.

Danzeus, the other housemate, got me a small cake all tucked away in the micro-fridge and was planning on presenting it to me ala song style on his white horse guitar but takjadi cuz the housebunneigh potonged his stim after we came back from our earlier makan session @ WIP.




Thanks Danz.

i had it for breakfast the next day and really liked it.
my solo in-room celebration for myself on my bday morning.
Sssweet.

I wanna go on a holiday.
Someone sponsor me please.

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